Jordan
by Love2readaway
Summary: SPOILER 5x18 'THE WILD ROVER'—Beckett finds out who Jordan is— ONE-SHOT


******A/N: Was busy writing another story when this little piece, literally, just jumped into my head. Wrote it in a rush. Hope I didn't miss any typo.**

******Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe, though they have found their own way into my heart.**

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Since the case was finally closed they could get back to the conversation that had been on hold for the last few days. Beckett wasn't one of those people who could just let something go, and she wasted no time in picking it up right where they'd left it.

"Okay," Beckett says as she sits down next to him on the couch. "Now, tell me. Who's Jordan?"

Castle's mouth opens but no sound comes out. He leans back, slumping into the cushions, and diverts his gaze, his eyes focusing on some point between the shelves of his huge bookcase.

"Is she a woman? An old girlfriend?" Beckett moves closer and tries to catch his eye. "I promise I won't get mad," she says honestly.

"It's…" he lightly shakes his head. "It's not what you think." His tone is low and heavy with graveness.

She waits, because she knows —like when she's interrogating a suspect— that sometimes silence works much better than pressing on and bombarding someone with questions.

Castle takes a deep breath and releases the air very slowly through his mouth. His eyes won't meet hers. And, suddenly, Beckett realizes something is out of place, something is wrong. The way he's clenching his jaw, the way his fingers close around his knees. This is something that really affects him.

"She's my—" He turns to her and she notices his eyes are glistening with sorrow. "She was my daughter," he confesses in a whisper.

The 'was' doesn't go unnoticed. This is not what she expected at all. He has or had another child? Her brain is too stunned to react or to come up with an appropriate response.

Castle is looking down at his lap again.

After a long moment of awkward silence, Beckett asks, "You have another daughter?"

"Had."

Castle's lips start to quiver and he purses them tight to hide it. Beckett reaches out and places her hand on Castle's. His eyes don't move from his knees.

"What happened?" she asks him gently.

"She didn't…" his voice wavers and dies. Kate takes his hand in both of hers, trying to convey with that small gesture all the support and understanding that she's capable of. "She came prematurely into the world. There were complications during labour—" his voice breaks. He clears his throat and she can see he's trying to swallow back a sob. Gazing up at the ceiling, he continues with a shaky voice. "Her hea—, her heart was defective and she didn't make it."

"Who was…?" Beckett starts but she can't bring herself to finish the question.

He answers anyway. "Kyra. Kyra was the mother. After that… Kyra said she needed a change. That's when she went to London."

And that's when he didn't follow her, Beckett thinks.

Castle takes another second and then, finally, looks down and meets Kate's eyes. "The other day, the night you heard me say her name, she would have turned 22 years old."

He tries to smile but it's in vain. The pain that rises out from every pore of him is contagious and she feels her heart is being sorely constricted.

"Kate… Except for my mother, and now you, no one knows. Not even Alexis. So—"

"No, of course," she cuts him off, reading his intention. "I won't tell anybody."

Castle nods slightly in gratitude.

They stare at each other in silence for a minute. Beckett knows there is not a single word she could say that would make him feel any better. So she hopes that her presence is enough. When a tear finally escapes Castle's eye, she catches it with her thumb. He takes her hand and holds it against his cheek. Beckett gives him another moment before she pulls him in for a hug. When she wraps her arms around him, she feels his muscles relax a bit, the tension slowly melting, and he ends up clinging to her like his life depends on it. She realizes he just released part of this immense burden and pain he's repressed for too many years. A feeling she knows all too well.

"Thank you," he whispers.

The glimpse of a smile makes her lips begin to tremble from the raw emotion and finally her eyes well up with the tears she's been holding back for Castle's sake.

"Always."

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**Thank you.**


End file.
